What to Say to New Parents of a Child with Down Syndrome: Do’s and Don’ts
From Author Linda Bonner. “Blessed with Extraordinary: Support and Resources for families of children with Down Syndrome. “
Empowering families, educating the community, celebrating Down Syndrome.
When a child is born with Down Syndrome, people struggle with what to say to the parents. Following are a few important dos and don’ts when you find out someone has a baby with a disability. I hope you’ll find this information helpful.
First and foremost, the birth of a new baby is something to celebrate. So celebrate_
Don’t be afraid to say something. Even if you don’t know exactly what to say, they need to know you support them. Be honest and let your words come from the heart.
Do Say Congratulations!
Be positive about the arrival of their new baby. Focus on how cute the baby is. Tell them how excited you are for them as new parents.
Do acknowledge that their dreams will be different now and take your cue from the parents. Don’t ignore the diagnosis.
Do ask them how they’re doing and how you might help. Be sure to let them know you love and support them.
Don’t use phrases like “God gives special children to special parents”. It comes off as hollow and isn’t helpful for the parents, especially if they’re having difficulty accepting their baby’s diagnosis.
Don’t let fear keep you from interacting with the family and their new baby.
Don’t say “I’m sorry”. This is not only hurtful but offensive. What are you sorry for? It’s just best to not say it.
DO use people first language. Using “Baby, child, individual with Down Syndrome” says you value them as a person first. Down Syndrome is something they have, not who they are.
Don’t say “he/she looks normal to me”. I had someone say this to me and I was hurt by the comment. They meant well but have completely dismissed the diagnosis. Kevin did have Down Syndrome and the comment suggested that it made him not “normal”.
Be kind and gracious. Lavish the new baby with gifts just as you would any other newborn. Engage with the family and the child. Love and encourage them.
Blessed with Extraordinary: Support and resources for families of children with Down Syndrome
www.blessedwithextraordinary.com
Connect: blessedwithextraordinary@gmail.com
IG: @moreextraordinary_days / FB Linda Bonner Author Page
